Letter

Tuesday afternoon at the bar is quiet. I know Brian will come in as soon as I hit the breaker on the neon, and he does. K comes in a few minutes later because she knows I’m covering this shift. She just finished up at the record store.

Then Skyler comes in and it feels like old home week for a while.

Because I don’t work here regularly anymore, there isn’t an expected routine or rhythm. If it’s an afternoon shift, I take the caps off the bottles, fill the ice wells, cut limes, wet bar rags, set up the glasses and spill mats. That part never changes. What’s different is I’m not the regular guy, only a sub.

Brian leaves, then Skyler, then K. It’s an ordinary, slow, weekday shift. I listen to Connolly’s Lou Reed tribute record, then switch to Boards of Canada. Two couples from out of town commandeer the photo booth. One couple from Minnesota, the other from Ohio; they’ve met in the middle in Chicago. One of the women proposes to her boyfriend while the camera flashes. They all leave happy.

Tom comes in and insists I pick a drawing from his tiny sketchbook to take for myself. I tell him that’s generous but he insists that it would be his honor and that no one’s ever accused him of generosity.

A young woman comes in and orders a cider. She looks like she’s waiting for someone. A few minutes later another joins her. She orders an amaretto sour.

I’ve been coming to this bar for over thirty years. It’s my favorite by a wide margin. But if I have one beef with the place it’s that the male-female ratio of the clientele is all out of whack. Most afternoons it’s a sausage party. Deborah used to call it a meat market. Maybe so. But only if you’re looking for a man.

Another young woman walks in and looks around. Clearly her first time. She asks about what we have, if it’s like a dive bar. I tell her it’s cash-only and she goes to the machine. Her friend comes in and they order a vodka-soda and a gin-and-tonic and take one of the booths. Then another woman comes in, orders a beer and a glass of water, then opens her Octavia Butler book. Camille comes in, orders a Tito’s-and-soda and opens her own weathered paperback in the corner. Two very young women rush in, order shots of tequila, and run back out.

For a couple of minutes, there are eight women in the bar and no men, except for me. Never seen that before. I want to tell one of them but don’t want to ruin the moment. A guy comes in a minute later, breaking the spell, complains I’m not Andy.

I tell Andy about the women when he comes in to relieve me. He jokes that it’s because he’s working. As I wheel my bike out it’s just him and six women. I tell him to have a good time.

K and I talk about the Ross brothers’ Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets (2020).

The new Melville book is coming together. I’m over halfway done. This one is full of animals so that’s what I’m drawing. He mostly uses them as a way to describe the variety of characters on his ship of marks and grifters and that’s the way I think of them too.

I don’t know how to embody another person so another species isn’t even on the table. I portray these birds, insects, and mammals as a person looking at another person. It’s the only way I can do it. They have faces, trunks, and limbs, so it’s not too much of a stretch.

The only pet I ever had was a dog I had to have put down because of heartworms. I lived with a dog and cat for a couple years once after that. They weren’t mine and with the dog especially it felt like they were waiting me out. Nevertheless, I dug a hole in the yard and buried the cat when he went.

Now I see a cat a couple times a week. He lives at K’s house. I can’t say he’s ever happy to see me but he’s okay as cats go. We divide up the room and coexist the best we can.

Melville’s animals are nothing like them. They’re just literary devices. We’re meant to think of people when he writes about possums, toucans, and bats.

K tells me Tomás acts completely different when I’m not there and I believe her. Why shouldn’t I?

I don’t how anyone or anything is when I’m not looking right at it. Even then, it’s not entirely a sure thing.

I liked Cassatt’s prints and Vladimir’s set-changes.

First Jungle poster is out in the world.

K and I discuss Village as well as Children of the Damned.

Feels like another in-between time again. I took down the Rainbo show, changed out some art at the bookstore and updated my published crap page. I put the presidents and alley paintings up for sale in my store. I don’t know that any of this shifting about has any effect really but it gives me a feeling of motion, of not just sitting still. There’s now too much artwork in this house. It needs to go away for good, one way or another.

The Melville book is coming together. Feels different somehow than the seven I did before but I’m enjoying it.

There’s a new monthly poetry series at the bookstore. Young, serious people. They have their own scene and don’t wreck the bathroom. I’ve gone to three of their nights and heard a few good things. But even the bad stuff is clearly done by people who’ve spent time wrestling with phrases rather than just nursing imaginary grudges against a world that doesn’t give a rat’s ass, doesn’t even know they draw breath. These are not the delusional types who take up three seats with their plastic bags of precious belongings and talk through one another’s performances.

Their series is called Comportment after all.

There’s an article about the alphabet book in a local rag and I’m quoted in this one about shitty Elena Ferrante covers and you can buy this book about Midwest miscreants I did a cover for.

You can now buy a cassette of me reading from Moby Dick.

K and I started a movie podcast.